Ginny Wilson-Peters' Blog
I kept trying to disguise it, name it something more positive, but it didn’t work. It continued to gnaw at me until I decided to fully own it: jealousy. In a number of situations, I was feeling jealous of individuals who were accomplishing more than me—in better physical shape, better teachers, better consultants, better stepmoms. You name it, in one way or another, each of these has reared its ugly head in the past few months. And the funny thing is that work-wise I’ve had a very successful 2009 and the prospects for 2010 are even brighter. So Ginny, what’s up with this jealousy thing?
In late December I posted a note on our Facebook fan page that said, “ABUNDANCE* is the word I’m choosing to focus on in 2010. What’s your word for 2010?” And then it hit me in the shower one morning this past week. Jealously comes from a place of scarcity thinking. And scarcity thinking is the opposite of abundance. In times when I was feeling jealous, it’s quite possible that I was also thinking that just because “they” had something I wanted, that meant that I couldn’t have the same thing.
I’m also trying to reconcile the idea of competition and wanting the best for myself. I fell into the hole of confusing competition with jealousy. Competition is a good thing, for me and for everyone. But I want to make sure I am competing mostly with myself—am I doing the VERY best that I can do—and in a way that focuses on the things I’m good at? For me, competition isn’t about looking to beat out someone else, but rather going after what I want. In the process sometimes it will be necessary for me to beat someone else, especially when it comes to obtaining new client work. The difference for me is going after something because I want it, not because I want to prevent someone else from getting it.
Does that make me a weak competitor or a strong one?
What is your word for 2010? If you want to see what others said, check out our Integrity Integrated fan page. http://tinyurl.com/yzoo4vx
Recommended Reading: “Drive: The Surprising Truth about What Motivates Us” by Daniel Pink. See Dan speak about this in a video at http://tinyurl.com/nfxme9
Good article by Martha Beck about abundance and scarcity thinking: http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200904-omag-beck