Ginny Wilson-Peters' Blog
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” Marianne Williamson
I’m not sure you can say that I write a “blog” when it has been two months since the last posting. I could say it is because I’ve been busy, but that would be an excuse. The truth is that I find myself wondering if something I write will be important enough to impact people’s thinking. Yes, this is ego at play. I find myself reading other writings and listening to other speakers and thinking, “wow, they have it together.”
And then I was introduced to the video link about everyday leadership and it has inspired me beyond words. In the past two weeks, I’ve shared the video with my MBA leadership class, our QC Leadership Academy and four of my Women in Leadership groups. In all cases, the results have made for engaging conversation about “lollipop moments” and yes, a few tears.
I encourage you not just to view this video, but to do two things. First, share it with others. And second, think about someone that has created a lollipop moment for you—and tell them about it.
Okay, one more request. Please share your moments with us in the comments section.
“It’s not about the direction you take. It’s about the direction you give.” Mr Holland’s Opus
I felt better the moment I began sharing with Greg, my husband. “ Honey,” I said, “I have been consumed the past few weeks with a desire to win this upcoming leadership award.” There—it was out and I could finally discuss it with him and begin to move forward. I knew I’d been operating from a place of anger and frustration for a period of time and that wasn’t how I wanted to be.
As I said, I had been consumed with a desire to win a coveted leadership award, and I found myself thinking about it throughout the day and especially at night before I went to sleep. I knew it wasn’t healthy, and I knew it was all about my ego attachment to winning an award. One of my teachers used to talk about the “Small ego” and the “healthy ego”. The small ego is the place where we attach our worth to other people’s opinion of us. The healthy ego is where we operate from our purpose, our mission in life. My desire to win the award was definitely coming from the small ego place.
Shortly after my talk with Greg I talked through my feelings with a group of close girlfriends. Thanks to my “Z” sisters, my movement out of the small ego and back toward the healthy ego continued. Throughout the ensuing week, I found myself interacting with person after person, and group after group from a more purposeful place. And the week culminated with a powerful experience on Friday.
Friday morning I met with a group that I’d met with several times prior. I thought I had the session planned out until I got in the shower that morning. I’ve learned to trust my intuitive insights, especially ones that come in the early mornings at shower time. As I thought about the group, I clearly heard a message to do the passion exercise with them. “Really,” I thought, “I’m pretty sure they’re going to resist that one.”
But, as I said, I’ve learned to trust my intuition. So, as I met with the group, I explained the exercise. In a nutshell, I asked each member of the group of eight to take 15 minutes and write an impromptu speech about a passion of theirs. Once done, they would each stand and give their speeches to the entire group.
“What if you don’t have any passions?” said one of the participants. I responded by gently telling her that I’d never met anyone that wasn’t passionate about something—their kids, a sport, or something. She continued to put up some resistance for a period of time, and I continued to gently ask her to give it her best shot. Within about five minutes, I saw her beginning to write some notes.
After about fifteen minutes, I invited each member of the group to share their speech with the group, and I was BLOWN away. The first person to volunteer was the woman who initially said she didn’t have a passion. She talked for almost five minutes about her passion around preventing teenage pregnancy. She talked candidly about how her own experience as a teen mom had impacted her life and how important it was to her to share her experience with others. A few of us were in tears before she was even done.
Another person talked about his dream to participate in one of the Honor Flights to Washington DC to accompany our veterans in viewing the World War II memorial there. Another person talked about her desire to be a role model for her children and how that also manifested with her role as a supervisor. Story after story that was shared was heartfelt and moving.
In hearing those stories, and experiencing the growth from that session, I knew that my purpose in life has nothing to do with winning awards, but really is about finding ways to nurture and inspire others to reach for the stars. To the authors of the passion stories, I say a big thank you. And a big “thank you” to so many people that have also changed my life in so many positive ways.
Oh, and I didn’t win the coveted leadership award.
“Of all the lives he changed, the one that changed the most was his own.” Mr Holland’s Opus.
“All courage is faith reaching through the fear displaying itself in action.” John Hope Bryant, author of “Love Leadership”
It wasn’t a “touchy-feely” message about leadership; but it was a message of great hope. No wonder Hope is part of his name. John Hope Byrant addressed our group during the second day of the Leadership Challenge Conference. He challenged, he entertained and mostly, he delivered a powerful message that leadership begins with each of us. And he delivered a message about the important of love leadership.
As John was autographing my copy of the Love Leadership book, he asked me what the biggest message was that I took away from his speech. I was truthful when I said to him, “There were many great messages in what you said.” But as I walked away, there was one that continued to stand out in my mind: Giving is Getting.
Getting is Giving is one of his five fundamental laws of Love Leadership. “The more you offer to others, the more they will want to stay with you, share with you, protect you, and support you.”
I walked away from chatting briefly with John and had a few free minutes, so I decided to “give”. I logged into my twitter account and shared two things from that morning at the conference. The first thing that happened at the conference that morning was that the conference host, Wiley Publishing, invited the hotel hospitality staff (approximately 25 cafeteria staff, cooks, maintenance etc) into the front of the room and asked us to express our appreciation for the fine work they had done during the conference. The room immediately rose to a standing ovation to express our gratitude. I noticed tears coming to my eyes as I had never been part of such a moving expression of gratitude at a conference.
So, a wrote a quick tweet to tell others about the act, in the hopes I was “giving” others the idea and also sharing the good feelings we had as a result of that experience.
The second tweet was to share a few words of inspiration from John Hope Bryant’s presentation and again, hopefully “give” by sharing his words of inspiration with others.
Not less than five minutes after I wrote those tweets I was walking in the hallways off the main drag of the hotel. I was in need of a restroom and couldn’t find one. A young man in a maintenance uniform came out of a door and I asked if he could direct me to the closest restroom. He asked me to follow him. He walked down a couple hallways, found a supervisor and asked him for a key to the restroom that was off the beaten path (we had to take two more hallways just to get to it). He unlocked the restroom just for my use. Giving is Getting.
“Love, in the context of love leadership, is not the same as love for your life partner, love for your children, or even love for a big dish of chocolate ice cream. No,I refer to the agape definition of love found so frequently in the Bible: love meaning unconditional love for your neighbor, a love as powerful as humankind’s love for God. It means treating people as you want to be treated. I’ll argue again and again in this book, love not only has a place in business, but also is absolutely central to sustainable success. ”
For more about John Hope Byrant, his books, and his work with Operation Hope, visit www.johnhopebryant.com
